Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Do we bother where our loving are heading

Ok let us start this thought process with a topic that I am planning to share since long. Hey! Starting with a disclaimer: “All the characters in this thought process are imaginary or rather are the models of real-time scenarios. If this has anything to do with the people you know, then it is purely coincidental”. I will narrate a story and then we will jump to the topic.

Once upon a time (... normally stories begin this way, that is why) my amma, the all time neat and tidy, hygiene-oriented woman, who teaches her children to keep their bags, books, at a common place, use them when required was sitting on her.. Hm... Our sofa, reading newspaper when Krimi aunty... che! Simi aunty came with her children. It was not a bright day as I had a quarrel the morning with amma for watching movies and not reading newspapers or watch “speak wale uncle’s” (an uncle wearing specs) bonvita quiz contest.

Monty and Bunty, the commandoes of the Gupta family jumped onto the bed and sofas, threw everything they could with the tiny hands of the seventh class kid’s. I noticed my amma’s face changing red when the children did not listen to their mother who asked them to stop their mischief. They then moved towards the remote and other well-arranged items in the house. After some time Simi aunty finished her chitchat and went with the children. Amma was now angrier than she was when we had a quarrel. She said that during her time the children never misbehaved in front of their parents or elders and now things have changed so much that they even don’t listen to their parents.

According to amma, the children should be mentored in a better way. She says that children should be given freedom of thought and life but behavior and discipline is the responsibility of the parents. She has a regular dialogue “njangalude ammavande mumbil njangal chi po ennu polum parasparam samsarikillarunnu, atrekyum bahumanam aayirunnu adehathe”(even in presence of our uncle we never used to quarrel with our brothers and sisters, that was the respect we had for him). I am happy that no one ever complained about my behavior to amma. My sister was always the first in complaints from teachers and friends. Teachers would always complain about her chit chat in the class.

I have seen many of my friends speaking in louder voices to their parents while others politely and respectfully. It shows the way they are grown. There is a usual talk in Malayalam, people say “avante ammyem achanem paranjal mathi, valathu dosham”(his parents are the culprits and they should be questioned, it is the way he is grown that made him act bitter).

Earlier there were four to five children in a family and parents would not get much time to take special care for the children and thus they are grown strictly. Now a day the children are limited to maximum two for a family and thus the care and freedom has increased causing adverse effects. I think parents should take special care to correct their children when they are wrong and to appreciate them when they act mature.


  1. You are right about this... just walked by a group of kids playing with water guns. A few of them were cursing on every other word. All of them looked between 5-10 years of age.

    There are people who shouldn't have kids. Period.

    Of course, then there are people who are good parents, but can't keep their kids away from outside influence. The trouble is, even careless parents take this excuse:-)

    - Kajan

  2. Re: Anonymous kajan

    Thanks for the comments. Children are quick learners and whoever they interact with they learn the habits. Parents should monitor their children and the change in their behaviour and correct them when required.

  3. now a days who has time for all this. i think children who grew with their grand parents tend to be more caring and nice!

  4. @joshi - Thank you for the comments. Yes I agree the children who are grown with their grandparents are nice and caring. But their are situations when these children become too dependent in future.

  5. What happened to you, you become philosophical. Everything you mentioned is correct. what is your vishu program. How is election going on there.

  6. @Swathi - Just for a change :) thought some posts must be different than others. This was written in a different mood. You can notice a common way in the first two paragraphs and a change to regular way in the last paras.

    Vishu program is all enjoyment with the family. Will post soon. Wazzup there?

    Elections are active. Everyone went in the morning and did vote!!!

  7. I do not know, parenthood seems to be a complex thing.

  8. Parenting is very challenging abhi and sometimes we become too judgmental of the parents , but having said that i agree with you that children should be corrected as soon as they seem to make a mistake and rewarded bountifully for good behaviour !

  9. I liked your narration as always .But with this I remember one of my incidents when I had a hot argument with my mama for some topic and mama commented on me saying "This is what your parents thought you?"I got so frustrated and yelled at him saying"Don't dare to speak about my parents"I was angry with the fact that he was commenting on my parents (my mother was his sister only:),because they had actually given good values to me .It was me who had this bad short temper and anger in me .could my parents do anything about it?I agree that values and culture are parents duties ,but certain inborn nature and qualities have to be self modified by ourselves.

  10. Dear Abhi,
    Good Evening!
    Some relaxed thoughts on parenting?Good effort...Abhi,ways and methods change as the world is progressing...Values should be caught,not taught.So,let us be the role models.Let the actions of elders speak louder..
    Children are good and we have to mould them beautifully with patience and love.
    I am still getting advices from Amma....:)There is scope for improvement always!
    The red shirt looks cool!For a change,put some snaps of para,next time!
    Wishing You A Wonderful And Happy Vishu,


Thank you for your valuable comments. I do respect your opinions.

All the posts are about my life with a pinch of comment on social activities and new discoveries happening around us.

The purpose is to impart knowledge and welcome comments for correction on views, since these are from a single spectator.

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