Thursday, September 9, 2010

Exploring secrets behind Marry-Age

Hey! Today I would like to discuss with you on the blogosphere about a very serious topic, rather a very important topic. I was with Sandeep and Prachika having my lunch when Sandeep started discussing the topic about my marriage. I said that I am not old to get married and I need more time to take family decisions. He introduced several questions to which Prachika gave equal and opposite answers. I was in confusion whether to go back to my childhood or jump to the 60’s avoiding such debates. Oh! Don’t get confused as I am or my marriage is not the topic of this blog post rather when should a man/women get married.

The debate continued for several hours with both of them quarrelling and introducing strong and equally logical points. The option left for me was to agree for whatever points I feel convincing. I am new to this arena and the experienced players want to canvas me sharing their good and bad incidents in life. I felt the same when a group of people attacked me for opening a bank account in their respective branches. I got clarity then, when I asked my friends as what is the best solution they think I should opt.

To understand the situation let me open the application “time machine” on my Nokia and take you back to the time when we had the discussion. So be ready... here we go!!! .... blum, blash, krum, murum... kisshhhhhhhhhh!!!

Oh! The journey was hectic. Airtel has problems in the network connection when we need it the most. I hope I should use this application the next time we receive a perfect signal. So the man with a 170 Cm height you see is sandeep and the women sitting opposite to him with a childish smile is Prachika. The smart and handsome man in the scene is the writer of Life at Abhi. So let us be silent and hear the conversation.

Sandeep: Abhilash you marry man...

Abhilash: I am too young to get married. I will try after 4 years.

Sandeep: Oh! Four more…what I say is why to wait so longer. You are young and would get a perfect match during this age.

Abhilash: ummm...I think.... (Prachika interrupts in between)

Prachika: Abhilash, please do not marry before 27 years or you will end up with an unstable life and immature partner.

Sandeep: It is not always, as you think. If a person marries at his age of 25 with a girl at 21 then they will have a child at the age of 27&23 respectively. They have ample time to plan their activities and join their grandchildren. However, if a man marries at the age of 28 he will get a girl of 23 and by the time their children are born, he is too old.

Prachika: What if the couples get a child only after 4-5 years?... they are still in the second stage.

Sandeep: That may happen rarely.

Prachika: Abhilash… if a Boy marries at the age of 25 then he will not be able to face the life consequences and most of his decisions will depend on others.

Sandeep: It depends upon where the boy was born, his surroundings, the people he normally converse with etc. At the age of 25, a normal boy can start his life.

Prachika: The important point to consider here is that when people fall inside a trap, they also wish to pull others inside for a company. So do not listen to Sandeep. I was married to a man at his age of 25, I understand what problems occur, and that is the reason I advise you to marry only after the age of 27.

Abhilash: I think to marry a girl at my age or a year less than my age. That will help us to understand each other and take equal decisions in life.

Sandeep: Hey Please do not do such mistakes! Girls mature at the age of 12 and when they reach 22 they are two times smarter than boys. If you marry a woman when you are 27 and that too same as your age then the life will end a mess. She will overtake all your decisions and there will never be a match in your wavelengths.

Prachika: I think Sandeep is right in this case. There need to be someone who can take a lead role in a family. If they try to compete one another in decisions then things would end up in divorce. That I assume a reason for the western countries to report many divorce cases. They have relationships prior to their marriage and even marry the girls older than them and the result is a divorce.

Abhilash: Why do not Sachin and wife end in divorce? I think he is younger than his wife is.

Sandeep: There should be a “love” factor before every marriage. Couples need to understand each other and then marry. In such situations, there will not be any divorce or collisions in decisions. People who marry after a love sequence live life happily. I am not speaking about the “Subhash park”, “Cinema theatre” or “tea time” love stories in India but the real love stories.

Abhilash: ?

Prachika: I am completely against it. When people are in love, everything around them appears green and like a celebration. The day they marry, they start understanding real life and then start their problems. Marriage should always be arranged to avoid such situations.

Sandeep: Were you married after love?

Prachika: No comments please… Abhilash you enjoy your life before you enter the Tsunami. At least you will be happy remembering the old energetic days. After marriage, everything appears busy and boring.

Sandeep: It would have occurred with limited people like Prachika. However, my life is still smooth and fine and I think why I did not marry early than I did to enjoy my life. Thus, I advise you to marry as early as possible. Abhilash even knows cooking so it will not be a problem for his wife. She can sit idle and there will not be any family issues like not “helping each other”.

Abhilash: Ayyo ! Why does the cooking come in between?

I assume my mobile will be switched off in 10 minutes and I forget to charge it this morning. so lets return to the current time before we are caught in this world. Shhhhh….. SO here we are back to the normal life.

You have witnessed the conversation and now I look forward to your thoughts on the topic. Hope you enjoyed listening to their views. Do you agree to them or you have different opinions on the age people marry or they should marry?

Now Let’s continue Marry-Age with your comments.


  1. It was so nice to read the conversation, really interesting topic i can say,..well marriages are made in heaven, so when they are bound to happen,they will...ya marriage is a life time decision and only when one is prepared for it,one should move ahead with it....understanding and love is the main factor and age has nothing to do with it...

  2. Marry when you want! When you find someone you wish to get married to but then that is my personal take. You are free to make your own choices, right?

  3. arre yaar be prepared !definetely there are pros and crons.. afterall it canot be a cake walk !when ur really prepared for the worst in life...things have to be well.dont worry .marraige is not tht big a hassel ,and fights ,arguments are just like an integrant part parcelled with prepared!hey abhi ,i really agree with the cooking part .thats a added advantage for wives:)hehe.

  4. I feel one should marry when they feel they are ready. . When they are financially sound enough to support a family. .

  5. It's a fascinating topic for sure. Definitely one should marry when they feel ready, I think.

  6. 4 more yrs..?u r 25 right? Mahi got married when he was 26...I think girls should marry before 25 and boys before 30...Anyway nice post..Onam okke adichu policho..?

  7. Interesting talk :-) This is the perfect day for me to talk about marriages, since my hubby and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary today :-)
    Good luck with whatever you decide on this ;-)

  8. Marry when you are ready. It's advisable to think about it now. Either married or not our decisions have to be our own so I disagree with one of the arguments that if you marry young then you will be dependent on the other. Never let that happen. Two strong individuals who love each other is better than any one depending on the other in a marriage. Marriage should be to improve your life not to take care of each other literally. Compassion, friendship and love does not mean we spoon feed the other. I am not sure I am getting this through right but bottom line, think about marriage, develop yourself, pray and dream about the kind of person you want to the last minute detail. If you believe you will find that person.

  9. Thats a hot topic discussion that happens between me and my friends too :)

    But you know!! the fact is you can never decide when to get married.. it just happens.. falling in love or liking the one parents show happens like a magic. No one on earth would have thought, "I am 25 now and need to fall in love" he he.. so just wait for it. It will come to you when time comes is what I feel. And baby and so on is also the same way. Nothing goes according to plan. The thrill is to wait for it and face it :) :)

    And about age difference, I believe one year diff to max of 4 years is good. 1 year diff is the best because they grow together and will be able to enjoy life equally :)

    Domination etc applies for each individual and can never be generalized is my strong feeling.

    What so ever, after the couple gets married(love or arranged) if there is affection and love between them and they feel committed by heart life will for sure be fantastic :)

  10. That's a too sophisticated topic for me...but I am with Nostalgia that get marry when you are ready.

  11. HA! This is an interesting topic. Now, Abhilash, this also is a different convo when it comes to FEMALES marrying. You males have it good. You get the better end of the deal when you marry. You don't have to bear the kids. You don't really have to stay at home, entrapped by motherhood. You still get to go out, work, hang out with friends. As a woman, however, you become ostracized by your career friends when you get a baby, because suddenly you have nth else to talk about besides your baby.

    That said, no offense to guys, but guys mature at an older age than women. So it might be a good idea to NOT marry too early. And seriously, no matter how mature a woman is, 21 years old?!!!! That's still a freaking baby!!!

    p.s. I do NOT ever want to I may sound very passionately biased.

  12. One has to settle down first and then think of marriage .Btw add a few drops of oil and rub the tawa with half an onion.u will have no problem in taking the dosa from the tawa.

  13. Very nice and interesting. I always feel that a person should not be in a hurry to get married or family should not force. Its an important decision for the whole life and choosing a good life partner according to a person choice plays a vital role. I feel that a person should have a stable job, settled in a place, save money and then think of marriage.
    I was not aware that you are so good in Hindi. I felt very happy to receive your comment in my hindi poem blog. You are always welcome not only in my Hindi poem blog but also in other 4 blogs too.

  14. I think we all should enjoy bachelor life to some extent and then marry(after all everyone has to marry one day :( )

    As long as want to enjoy bachelor life enjoy it and then marry no age limit no advantage disadvantage if you marry late or early, it's all you who decide it of course after marriage you will have lot of responsibilities. be mature before marry.


  15. hehehe nice conversation! so what have you decided atlast?

  16. Hahaha...Interesting topic abhi..I am with Nostalgia..marry whenever u feel your are ready.Good luck..:)

  17. After all why should one get is all about living with a purpose,right......? being empathetic-- isn't this life is all about? better if we forget about marriages and take time and have a heart to care about the unwanted kids...:)

  18. Hmmm.. Interesting Conversation..
    Its always upon u, when u r ready to get married.. not really ur friends, though they wil always push for this being ur good friends.. if u meet someone whom u think u can spent rest of ur life with, then i guess thats the perfect time.

  19. Hey your image looks nice and double meaned i enjoyed the post..

  20. onam ippozhano kazhinjathu???? wr wr u?? kalyanatheppatti chinthichu thala pukayukayaano? :) i agree with Vrinda..boys shud get married before 30 and girls before 25.. i got married wen i was 24 n delivered a baby wen i was 26. :)

  21. Ahh very nice write up...Loved the conversation b/w the folks...I believe each one is right in their respective point of view...

    My personal opinion about marriage would be "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,always with the same person".....I am getting to spend the rest of my life with my Best Friend(my Hubby)which is truly making my simple and colorful...

  22. Oh my God!

    So many responses. I am happy to receive the feedback from all of you.

    Thanks for your comments.

  23. Thanks for visiting my blog Abhilash, I also belong to EKM. happy New Year!!!

    that conversation in the post was interesting. Cooking does help you know:)


Thank you for your valuable comments. I do respect your opinions.

All the posts are about my life with a pinch of comment on social activities and new discoveries happening around us.

The purpose is to impart knowledge and welcome comments for correction on views, since these are from a single spectator.

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